Friday, October 22, 2010

My sister, Amy, and I have a time-honored tradition of trash-talking the magazine covers displayed near the checkout aisle at grocery stores.  Especially the ones featuring well-known 'homemaking celebrities.'  I've always thought Martha Stewart looked downright sinister.  But that's a subject worthy of it's own post.  Today I wanted to talk a little about Paula Deen.

She's always creeped me out, but I've never been able to put my finger on exactly why.  She's doesn't seem as malevolent as Martha, just... not right.  Her piercing blue eyes, oddly perfect hair, and intense close-up photographs on the cover on her magazine just give me the jibblies.  Amy texted me a photograph of her the other day.  That same day, I read a little article about her and had to share the news with Amy.  

Our text conversation went as follows:

Me: Fun fact about Paula Deen: apparently she was agoraphobic for 20 years. Since she never left her house, she taught herself to cook. So, no wonder she has crazy face. She had virtually no human contact for like 2 decades.
Amy: Wow. That explains so much. :)
Me: I wonder if she talked to the food as she was slicing and sauteing. Shiver.
Amy: That's a creepy creepy image.
Me: Let it really sink in. It gets worse.
Amy: Like a sociopath. Speaking gently, almost reassuringly as she decapitates. Shudder.
Me: That's the funniest/most disturbing thing I've ever heard!!!
Amy: It might be the most disturbing thing I've ever written. I need to get that image out of my head.

Not sure you believe me?  See for yourself.

Paula with a few unfortunate victims