Thursday, February 08, 2007

Diagnosis: TMS

Few, if any of you out there have had the pleasure of a verbal exchange with me. You've all just read my written word, which makes me sound a lot nicer since I have the chance to censor it before I post it. I'm not offended by other people cursing, but I try not to do it myself (save for that oh-so-special 3-5 days of the month and an occasional outburst when I'm really upset). Stephen came up with a lovely name for my affliction: TMS.

The other night we were discussing the Pythagorean theorem, and it was a very lively discussion (yeah, weird. I know). In any case, it's not a subject which particularly displeases me, yet during the course of our conversation I let slip several words which are normally filtered by a little voice in my mind which warns "No, no dear. Not out loud". I also had a lot of unclean adjectives regarding the assembly process of the complicated little pieces of paper inviting a large number of people to our blessed event (see previous post).

Stephen commented, "Honey, you've got a dirty mouth tonight!"
I glowered silently at him (it's supposed to be a warning, but I think it comes off sort of cute, thereby defeating my purpose and further frustrating me).
He, not heeding the warning, added "Maybe you've got turrets. TMS."
Me: What's TMS?
Stephen: Turrets menstrual syndrome.

Fantastic! A stroke of genius. Maybe I should put out an infomercial on youtube. Studies show approximately 75% of women suffer from this disease.* Ladies, do you feel frustrated by the cold, hard world? Are you sometimes unable to express your emotion without the use of obscenities? Are your hormones waging a war within you against your self-control, logic, and sense? You may have TMS*.
*These statements have not been reviewed or approved by the FDA and are, in fact, not based on any real studies.

From now on, when chided for foul language, I will claim TMS, and "I'm a little sensitive about it, if you don't mind..."


ThomG said...

Can I use that excuse too? Ahh, forget it. I just like to swear.

Melissa said...

Ahahahaha!!! That is too funny!

Beth said...

Hi people laugh at me whem I swear...I think it's the accent or something but it just makes me madder! But I like having a name for it Dr Rachel! (Ps really like your wedding invites that's really cool!)