Raging, Ranting, Raving, and Rhapsodizing

Today is my birthday, and it's a gray, misty day here in the Mile High City. From my reception desk on the 17th floor I have a beautiful view of the mountains, silhouetted dark through the fog.

I sent my mom a text message this morning giving her the exact address for my building, in case she needs to know "for some reason", :::cough cough::: balloons, flowers!! :::cough::: I have been pining away for that ostentatious display of affection delivered right to my desk... if there is one day for me to receive that display, it would be today. (I'm a poet, and you didn't even know it).

I love my birthday. I tell everyone, especially on a milestone birthday like today, my 21st. But as the day wears on, I hear more and more variations on a theme: will I be going out and getting tanked? (no, as a matter of fact, I will not) It's a little depressing to me that even my Christian friends assume that getting drunk will be the chief activity of my evening.

Years ago, in high school, my friend Josh told me he would buy me a Corvette for my birthday (a promise which was fulfilled in the form of a hot wheels collector toy), and every year he calls or emails on my birthday and we joke about this corvette. Maybe someday when he's made millions of dollars for some huge mining company, or NASA, or whoever, he'll actually buy me my Vette'.

Tonight, my family is taking me out to dinner at one of my favorite restaurants, Benihana's, where they cook your food right on the table in front of you, and the cooks always make the same, tired old jokes about how it's their first day. Interestingly, it's a Japanese restaurant, and all the waitresses and hosts are Japanese, but all the cooks are Hispanic guys. Maybe Mexicans make the best Japanese food? Anyway, after that Stephen is going to take me out to get a glass of wine, which I have been looking forward to for weeks. (LOL- the Speedy delivery guy just came in, and it's his birthday too. how fun!)

I feel like answering the phone... "Good Morning, (the company I work for) USA... this is Rachel, and it's my birthday! How can I help you?" I hope I never turn into one of those women who hates her birthday because she's (gasp!) getting gray hairs and wrinkles isn't as thin as she used to be. Maybe I'll feel differently when I experience it myself, but I actually look forward to my first gray hair. I like the idea of getting older. I think I'll love my birthday more every year... there's beauty in every season, and it makes me sad to see women longing for the season which has passed, all the while missing the beauty of the season they are entering.

I'm still waiting for some flowers!!! Any of these would be acceptable:


































Does it come with the balloon-patterned vest? That's the best part.























It's "aaaaawww!" inducingly cute.


















Come to think of it, this particular display is better suited for valentines day. Stephen could get me the the flowers are I'll get him that sweet red tie to match.


















I could probably polish this thing off by 5.










This is Phyllis from The Office, from the Valentines Day episode. If you don't watch The Office, start. Immediately.

I just finished The Glass Castle, by Jeannette Walls, and I couldn't put it down (this being posted a mere week after finishing my last book). I loved every second of reading it, but I don't think I'm not sure if I would read it again. I probably will, since the book was an impulse buy while I was standing in line at the campus bookstore (I also bought a math textbook- I'd say the novel was a better read), but it's not something I see myself picking up again and again.

Jeannette Walls is a freelance writer and regular columnist for www.msnbc.com, and she composed these memoirs- her true life story- upon urging from her husband, also a writer. The book chronicles her transient childhood, living below the poverty line with her drunkard father, artistic and free-spirited mother, and 3 siblings. With as much as she's been through, the conditions she's lived in, and the experiences she's had (many caused directly or indirectly by those who should protect and love), Jeannette tells her story in a surprisingly nonjudgemental, even merciful way, without an ounce of self-pity or bitterness.

Jeannette's father can't keep a job for more than 6 months, and frequently wastes away the families little money on alcohol. On several occasions he puts various members of the family in danger and even tries to push his wife out of a window. But when he's sober, he is charismatic and captivating, an obviously loving father who, in his own way, wants the best for his children. He doesn't provide in practical ways, though, and moves the family from town to town to avoid the law. Jeannette's mother is a flighty artist who doesn't believe in discipline and loves adventure. A few times, she acts responsibly and takes teaching jobs here and there, but on the whole her behavior is selfish and she chooses to sleep and paint while her children go hungry.

It's not so much Jeanneatte's writing talent that makes this book so good- it's an absolutely absorbing story and she tells it with benevolence and humanity. She exemplifies the old cliche about not being able to control your circumstances, only your response. She took what life gave her and made the best of it, and probably wouldn't change her experiences. I got the sense from her written word that she doesn't regret growing up the way she did- it is what it is and she's made for herself what she wanted. The only reason I don't think I would enjoy this so much a second time is because I already know the story- perhaps after several years, I'll pick it up and love it all over again. I powered through the pages of The Glass Castle in about 5 days, and I would definitely recommend it. It was worth the time I spent reading.

On that note, I've felt particularly convicted about the way I spend my time. Stephen and I were talking about feeling spiritually numb, and he suggested that, since I spend so much time reading, maybe I should commit more of that time to reading something that is spiritually enriching. He's right, I should... But I can't find anything that captures my attention the way my favorite works of fiction do. I wish that the bible, or devotionals, or studies, or even Christian fiction would draw me in, but it doesn't. I feel like this is a catch-22. In order to be drawn in, I need to be stirred up to desire spiritual things. In order for that desire to be stirred up, I need to be spending time pursuing spiritual things. A little bit will yield even more. I just have to sacrifice some time to press in and do it, even though it's not entertaining. If I spent a 10th of the time praying as I do just reading for pleasure... I think I would experience a transformation.

"And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is the good and acceptable will of God." Romans 12:2 NKJV

I'm sitting at my desk eating carrots and sugar snap peas. The phone keeps ringing right when I bite off a chunk of carrot and it's getting a little ridiculous. I feel so healthy this morning- fresh vegetables, yogurt, water ... vanilla latte ... My leftovers for lunch, however, are not so healthy. I made absolutely the best pesto pizza last night with ricotta and mozzarella cheese, chicken, sun dried tomatoes, and zucchini; salad on the side, and Stephen bought red wine. I'm enjoying my healthy morning because Stephen's mom is flying in and tonight he's taking us out to a nice steak resteraunt.

I could be doing something more productive, like studying or reading the news... but I'm not. I'm blogging in between phone calls. Tomorrow I'll try to post a review for the book I just finished, The Glass Castle, by Jeannette Walls.

FAST FORWARD 6 HOURS

I get so busy during the day. It goes from being dead-silent (aside from the nasal, whining voice of Hardball's Chris Matthews and his irate guests, streaming continually through my conciousness from our wall TV), to being completely and totally nuts. The other day I was in the middle of writing an email to someone, and the phone rang. After that it just snowballed; I didn't get back to the email for 45 minutes. I guess I didn't really say anything of consequence today, but hopefully someone more bored than me was entertained ever so briefly by this pointless post.