Raging, Ranting, Raving, and Rhapsodizing

You may notice that I have updated my "What I'm listening to..." item on the sidebar. You may also notice that it is Christina Aguilera's new album. Furthermore, depending on how well you know me, you may notice that this is a strange, even disturbing development.

Take a peek at my music collection and you'll see everything from Metallica to Ella Fitzgerald. I love R&B, hip-hop, hard rock, punk, jazz, and especially the blues. I can even listen to non-twangy country every once in a while (we'll call it folk). But I'm not generally inclined to listen anything that could be qualified as "pop", which most certainly includes Ms. Aguilera.

In fact, I used to hate her. The whole sexed-up, dirty-nasty-naughty-girl image... I just thought she was tacky and provocative for the hell of it. But I've gone and bought her album now, in part because she's changed her image a bit and looks really classy. Mostly, I bought it because I realized that Christina Aguilera might be one of the most incredible female vocalists on the planet.

I told Stephen that she's good for me to listen to in the car. I can't get distracted by singing along because I can't even hope to keep up with her. When I first listened to it I kept rewinding the track to listen to her runs over and over again. She's got a huge range and remarkable control.

I love to listen to it, but every time I end up feeling like "Why can't I do that?!?". Though, I don't really practice. I just sing along with my music in my car and then expect to have the same range, control, and flexibility when I get in front of the mic on Sunday morning. Here's something I've come to admit about myself: I am monumentally lazy. I just want to be good at everything without really having to work at it. I bought a guitar last summer and I could count the number of times I've played it in the last 6 months on one hand- I avoid practice because I suck, I suck because I don't practice, etc. My dad recognizes this trait in me (he should, it exhibited itself through the duration of my youth through academic failure), so for Christmas he's paying for a voice lesson course. But we've been busy with the wedding, so I'm not starting it till' after the honeymoon.

So instead of complaining and feeling like crap for not being good enough to sing what I hear in my mind, I'm going to start practising. I want to develop my skill, not belittle it. Yeah, it sounds great now, but so has every other commitment to some kind of discipline that I've ever made.